My Favorite Card

I am sharing this story today with my cousin, Mary Jo’s permission. 

Once Mike died and everyone went back to life as normal. I struggled with my “new normal”  I didn’t have a normal life anymore and I didn’t want to create a life without Michael in it. And as I said I quickly learned to buffer with comfort food, alcohol, shopping, scrolling on facebook.  I would read the cards and letters I received in the days following his death and cry. 

I was lucky in that I had my sisters, my best friends, and my cousins who checked in with me regularly and walked with me through those terrible dark days.  

My cousin Mary Jo is no stranger to loss.  She was a very young widow.  Her husband passed away 15 years ago on August 17, which was  their wedding anniversary.  He had been quite ill from cerebellar ataxia, a debilitating progressive illness.  Mary Jo retired early from her teaching career to be his caregiver.  They had a marriage that was beautiful and strong and they were deeply in love. 

Knowing the pain of deep loss, Mary Jo would send me notes of encouragement through a card or a text message at various times  in those early days, often when I was really struggling and needing to hear from someone. Somehow they always seemed to come when I was needing it the most. 

My favorite card I ever got is the one pictured below.

I realize some people might choose to be offended by this card, but I laughed and laughed and laughed.  By the time I got it I had heard so many biblical references like “God needed another Angel” , “God has a plan for your life”, “if you are still breathing you have a purpose.” “Trust God he will get you through this”  And I had so many cards with Bible verses on them that it was a welcome relief.

I truly felt as if this gave me permission to laugh. And I loved that Mary Jo found it and sent it at the perfect time to me. 

If you are reading this and you suffered a great loss.  I want you to know that it is ok to laugh again.  It is ok to share those silly stories about your loved ones that have passed and laugh.  It’s ok to retell their stories or their jokes and laugh at them.  Laughter really is good for us. 

If you are reading this and you know someone who is struggling after a loss, reach out to them.  Send a text, a funny card, a note with a story about their loved one that they may or may not have heard before.  You see we love hearing stories about our loved ones who died even if we’ve heard them before.  It truly lets us know someone else is thinking about them and missing them too.  

I have over the years looked for this exact card to send to people I know who would love it as much as I do.  So far I have not been able to find it. 

I am a H.O.P.E. certified grief counselor and a Certified Coach through The Life Coach School. if you have suffered loss of any kind I would love to talk with you. Schedule a free 30 minute discovery call and together we can decide if we are a good fit to work together.