Anxiety…

I never enjoyed driving even when it was brand new to me. I liked the freedom I had and being able to go places.  But I never really enjoyed it. I know people who love to go for car rides. My dad was one of them.  Sunday afternoons we’d all pile in to the Buick LeSabre and go for a car ride. Most of the time ending up somewhere for ice cream. 

The older I got the less I enjoyed driving.  I worked for 7 years as a home care nurse.  Driving all over Arizona initially.  And continuing on in York when I moved back to Pennsylvania.   I didn’t like driving in all kinds of weather.  I didn’t like trying to find my way using old fashioned maps and driving directions given to us by other nurses or patients.  I loved taking care of the patients I just didn’t like having to drive all day long to see them.  

I don’t like any type of heavy traffic.  I would rather get up to leave for the beach by 4:00 in the morning than drive through Washington DC during rush hour. As I get older my night vision gets worse.  I find myself having to leave places “in time to get home before dark”.  My son, Mark, tells me I drive like an old lady.  And I probably do. 

After Mike died I started to have anxiety attacks while driving especially on the interstate.  It made no sense to me at all.  Mike was at home in his bed sleeping when he died. Nevertheless I would find myself driving in traffic and feel my anxiety level go up.  Driving has become more dangerous as we see many incidences of road rage and excessive speed and distracted drivers. It makes sense to me why I feel panicky when I have to be on highways.  Especially highways I have never been on before. 

A couple of years ago we went to Florida on Vacation.  We flew into Miami. The rental car was in my name and I was to cheap to add Dave’s name to it.  So I drove out of the airport onto I 95 and  what felt like the German autobahn that I’ve heard so much about and have no desire to ever drive on.  Cars and motorcycles traveling well over the speed limit and zipping in and out around slower cars (me).  I was terrified.  I pulled over as soon as I could and made Dave drive the rest of the trip. 

I still have anxiety when I have to be out on the road.  I still don’t like driving by myself anywhere. But most of the time I can get where I need to go with some self coaching.  

The skills I have learned help me deal with anxious and stressful situations like driving.  As I start to find myself panicking I have learned to take some deep breaths. I have learned how to talk to myself. Instead of berating myself that I left late or that I am going to be late I tell myself that it is ok and I will get there when I get there.  I have learned how to talk to myself in a kind and loving manner. I have learned techniques that I can use at any time and any place to help me get through those stressful moments.  I have learned that I can’t change it so I might as well put on some good music or a podcast and try to enjoy the time.

I still have times when I panic and react badly instead of using the skills I have learned to work through the panic.  I have learned all of this is ok.  We are humans with human emotions and experiences and we make mistakes.  Life happens.  We can either beat ourselves up or we can say “it happened. it’s in the past, and what can I learn from this experience?”

I can help you learn how to deal with the stressful events in your life.  I can help you learn how to live again after great loss.  I can teach you the skills that I have learned and am still learning. 

When you are ready to figure out life after great loss sign up for a free telephone consultation.  Together we will decide if we are a good fit to work together.  

Until you have a hope of your own let me give you some of mine. 

XOXO

Coach Laura