Life after Loss
Today I am writing my blog from this adorable tiny cabin in a campground between Biglerville and Shippensburg, PA. I took a week off work to travel 1 hour from home and spend it with 4 of my most favorite people in all of the world. My sisters, and my brother in law and my “cousin-sister”.
My oldest sister retired last December and is traveling around the country in the RV they bought. Cathy moved to Arizona in 1987. The year I graduated from college. Since then she’s been back home for visits that lasted 1-2 weeks. I’ve traveled to Arizona to visit her and even lived out there for 2 years from 1995-1997. But this is their first back East visit that has lasted for several months. It’s been tons of fun watching her adventures as they travel and see new things and visit friends. It’s even more fun to get to spend some time with family reconnecting and enjoying life.
This week we’ve done some walking spent the afternoon enjoying the campground pool, cooked meals together over a fire, and played some games. In short, we’ve had a lot of fun doing life. Sharing memories, some good, some sad, all reinforcing the bond we have. We have survived a pretty tough childhood and have all come out on the other side of loss stronger, more confident, and happier than we ever could have imagined. Our mother died from leukemia in 1976. We were 10, 13, and 15 and all have vastly different memories of our mother and even of her illness and death based on our ages and what we knew and understood at the time. It’s been interesting listening to my older sisters share the memories that I just don’t have because I was the youngest. It’s been fun listening to what they recall and remember versus what I recall and remember.
6 years ago I thought my life was over. I thought since my son had passed I didn’t deserve to enjoy life or to have fun anymore. I didn’t want to hear how everyone else's kids were doing. I wanted to hide away from everyone and everything and stop living. I was sure that somehow his death was my fault. The endless refrain that runs through your mind saying “what if I had done this or that differently?” “Why didn’t I teach him……?” The guilt, the pain, the agony, everything about life was too much for me in the early days. I went to work pasted on a fake smile counting down the hours until I could go home again. I was not enjoying life. I was numbing out on food, alcohol, TV, sleep, shopping on Amazon trying to fill the giant Mike sized hole in my life and my heart. None of it worked. If it had I wouldn’t be here now telling you my story.
Today, I am here to tell you that the dark days don’t last forever. Yes, I still have dark days but the dark days aren’t quite as dark and the dark days don’t last quite as long. I can tell you with 100% certainty that healing after great loss is possible. It might not be easy or fast, but it is possible. And the work and time it takes is invaluable!
With the help of my Life Coach and my therapist I learned that hearts can heal after great loss. I learned that I get to choose how I think and how I feel. I now have the tools that I need to help me not just exist, but to enjoy my life.
If you are saying to yourself that she’s full of crap and I will never heal from the losses that I have suffered I am here to tell you that you can! There are steps you can take that will move you forward and help you begin to heal.
This week is the last week of my Grief Coach certification training. I have learned so much from Grief coach Julie Cluff. She is an amazing woman with a remarkable story of loss, grief, tremendous courage, and the promise that you can heal and have a life after loss. I have been truly blessed to find her teaching and to take her course to learn how to help other women heal from the pain and trauma after loss.
Whether you lost a child, a sibling, a parent, a spouse, or a pet whether it was through death, separation, divorce, or any other means I can help you begin to heal. I can work with you to give you hope and teach you the skills you need to not only survive, but to thrive, and to soar! You can enjoy life again.
I am offering 2 people the chance to coach with me for 10 weeks for FREE .
What you get. 10 weekly 50 minute sessions, a workbook, and access to written coaching via email or text between sessions (please allow 24 hour response time). This is a $1000 value for absolutely free! The catch? All that I ask is you provide me with your HONEST feedback and a written testimonial. I will never use your full name anywhere. I will use your first name or initials only.
Are you ready to live? Do you want support and guidance as you begin to do the work to heal your life? Do you have 15 minutes a day and 1 hour a week to commit to doing the work?
Contact me via email, text, messenger, or telephone and let’s set up a zoom meeting and chat!
email: coachlaurayoung@outlook.com
telephone/text: 717-377-9169