Self Care
When you hear the term ‘Self care” do you think of spa days, massages, facials, pedicures and indulgence? Those things are nice but do not define self care.
After your child has died you will not even think of self care. It takes time to come to the realization that you want to live again. For me it took 4 years of just existing to truly decide it was time to figure out how to live without my son. The timeline for each of us will be different.
But there comes a day when you choose to try to figure out how to live again. You decide your child isn’t coming back so you are left with having to figure out how to live without them on this planet.
That is when having a self care tool kit will help you. Every day we have to take care of ourselves so we can go on living, working, caring for our families and friends while caring for ourselves.
When waves of grief hit us, having a self care tool kit can be a helpful resource.
Self care is the small things we do intentionally every day to take care of ourselves mentally physically and emotionally. When the waves of grief hit us we can turn to our self care tool kit to help us handle the pain of grief.
Self care involves all of our senses. Here are some of the ways we can use our senses to shift our thoughts and care for ourselves when the waves of grief hit us.
Taste
Herbal tea, fresh fruit, chocolate, coffee, healthy snacks and meals
Smell
Essential oils, fresh flowers, Bath salts or oils, scents in nature
Sound
Sounds in nature, music,
Temperature
Warm bath or a hot shower
Conversation
Talking with a trusted friend, attending support group
Reading
Books about grieving, novels, or your favorite novel
Writing
Journaling, poetry, memories of your child
Touch
Hugs, holding hands, your favorite soft blanket
Movement
Walking, yoga, biking, exercise
Gardening
Planting flowers and vegetables, planting trees
Hobbies
Woodworking, knitting, crocheting, painting, sewing, building things,
Mind tasks
Crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, word games, number games
Gratitude
Finding something good in every day
Not every practice will appeal to every person. Choose the activities or the things you like to do. For the newly bereaved it can be hard to think clearly. Having a list of things you like and having things on hand such as tea, a yoga mat, walking shoes, bath salts, books, and puzzles will help on those days when life seems impossible you can choose the things that will help you care for yourself.
Take some time every day to incorporate some self care into your routine. The little things we do to care for ourselves will help you to begin to heal and offer you some hope that life can be good again.