September

Let’s talk a bit about September. The days are getting shorter. Kids are headed back to school. Nights are getting (a tiny bit) cooler.  Soon it will be hoodie and campfire weather.  And it is Mike’s favorite season.  FOOTBALL SEASON! He would plan his work schedule around the Eagles schedule. He’d go as often as possible to Philadelphia to watch training camp or actual games. He’d be meeting the guys to do the Fantasy football draw.

When I was pregnant with Michael I decided he could be on the debate team.  He could swim, but absolutely no contact sports. But somehow Michael learned to love football. He played for the Saint Thomas Saints and he played junior and senior high football. Despite all this I never learned to like the game. Not even a little bit. Even when he played I knew to stand up and cheer when all the other parents did. There is something pretty exciting about hearing “Number 68 Joe Miller was taken down by number 74 Mike Bohlen!” I always loved hearing his name over the loudspeakers. 

I still love hearing his name. If you see me or any parent who has lost a child do not be afraid to say their names. Trust me you aren’t reminding us of anything. We have never forgotten for one moment that our child has died. Share their stories. We love to hear their stories even if we’ve heard them before. As time passes we love to know our kids are not forgotten. 

For years I struggled after Mike died. I didn’t want to live without my kid. I was tired and depressed. When I decided I wanted to figure it out I had no clue what to do. I couldn’t do it on my own. I was in counseling and my counselor told me I was good and she didn’t need to see me anymore. But I wasn’t good. I was struggling. I was good at pretending everything was ok for the 10 hours I was at work every day. I was good at putting on the fake smile and pretending I cared about everyone around me. 

Then I stumbled upon life coaching. I didn’t have a clue what a Life Coach was. But I was willing to try anything. I learned how to manage my mind. I learned how to change my thoughts and I learned how to enjoy my life. 

Next week I will be in Mexico.  After Mike died I really didn’t look forward to much of anything. I went on vacation. I sat on beaches and read books and cried when I saw families enjoying time on the beach and playing ball and having fun. I would drink wine on the beach so I  could go to sleep. I would wake to hearing “mom, mom, mom…..” and I would realize that little voice wasn’t calling for me. I wasn’t enjoying anything. I was just existing. 

I can’t tell you how excited I am to be going to Mexico and seeing and doing new things.  I am looking forward to trying new foods and meeting new people. I am looking forward to seeing new beaches and checking out the water park and doing all the things. 

If you are a parent struggling with your child’s death. I promise you loving and enjoying your life is possible. I can help you learn to live with both grief and love. Healing from loss is possible. When you are ready schedule a 30 minute discovery call and let’s chat. 

Until you have a hope of your own let me give you some of mine.

XOXO

Coach Laura